All I wanted was a piece of Cake!

Hey friends,

I have been having a pretty bad week, and I can’t quite put my finger on the reason why. But being a man-child in my mid-30s, I now have a tendency to bake when I’m upset.

. . . because that’s healthy.

Y’all, I was ready for this red velvet cake. I certainly didn’t make the cake from scratch, but I had the best betty crocker boxed red velvet cake money could buy.

But I did break out the kitchenaid to make a homemade buttercream frosting. My mouth is literally watering right now thinking about a fluffy, double layered cake with more than my fair share of frosting.

My spirits were already starting to lift as I watched my cake layers rise in the oven. The whole house started to smell like a bakery, and all of a sudden, I didn’t have any more troubles.

And guys, I wasn’t pressed about doing anything too quickly. Baking is an art best performed by lovers - and I poured all the love in my heart into this baking process.

It was so cathartic - but it so quickly went to shit after I realized that, after I had already put my cakes in the refrigerator to cool, one of them did not cook all of the way through.

Never one to be deterred, I figured, I would just put that cake layer back in the oven and it will be right as rain.

I mean, I was just dead ass wrong, but all I wanted was cake.

I had already started on my homemade buttercream, but realized two minutes too late that the butter was salted.

The damn butter was salted :-(

I didn’t have powdered sugar, so I powdered the sugar in my nutri-bullet. I ground the hell out of that sugar until it was nice and fluffy. And I mixed all of my ingredients (including that salty ass butter) and I let Bae’s kitchenaid churn and churn, not realizing that my “powdered sugar” would still feel like regular sugar on my teeth.

I tasted some of the butter cream, and it was okay (if you like salty nuts and pop rocks) but it just wasn’t mixing properly. So I let it churn and churn until I thought I had churned it to death. I applied that salty ass, rocky ass buttercream to my overbaked cake and watched in horror as it started to crumble.

Combined with the salt of my tears, this cake turned out to be more savory than sweet - and I crumbled onto the floor in a weeping pile of pathetic, almost mid-life, 2020 is a shit year, pity party.

But I finished that ungodly cake, and wondered aloud what kind of love I have inside of me to make such a ghastly cake.

I half-wept, half-laughed as my husband told me that this was only the second-worst cake I’ve ever made.

lol.

This is my life. Fucking up cakes. That is all.

Peace and blessings to all of you,

The Trendy One . . .

ps - I have you heard the latest episode of “the family we choose” podcast? Check us out on all of your favorite podcasting platforms including Apple podcasts, Spotify and Anchor FM.