Montgomery County Police Sent Me a Warning Notice Not to Bother Them After a Break-in or They Would Bill Me!

As a big ol’ queer black man, I am, on the best of days, anxious about any interaction with the police. In fact, I try to avoid it at all costs as not to run roughshod against our trigger happy friends in uniform . . . the police have historically taken issue with me walking down the wrong streets, so I do my best to steer clear.

However, as a tax-paying citizen, I do (perhaps stupidly) expect them to provide certain goods and services.

To wit, my husband and I were greeted one lovely Saturday afternoon a few weeks ago by a notification that our burglar alarm had been tripped. We were out visiting my best friend about an hour away, and so we needed someone (the police) to do something.

We first tried calling our apartment complex to see if someone from the staff had attempted to enter without our permission. Alas, no one was around to pick up the phone. In the meantime, our alarm company called us to ask if we wanted them to dispatch the police. Seemingly with no other alternative, we did ask them to call the police on our behalf and check out what looked like a bona fide break-in.

The police, whose base of operations is a mere 3 miles distance, apparently took 45 minutes to make the eight minute drive to our home. In that 45 minutes, the apartment complex did admit to us that one of their staff tried to enter our home to make a few fixes to our bathroom even though we had not given them permission to enter (we read the apartment complex to filth, but that’s a story for another day).

So we called the alarm company and told them to stand down. All is well that ends well, right?

Wrong.

I got a nastygram from the police outlining their “false alarm” policy. This letter contained a warning that if we had additional false alarms that necessitated the police coming to our home, that they would send me a bill. A bill. A fucking bill.

What the hell are my taxes for? For anyone who lives in Maryland, they sure as hell aren’t for maintaining the quality of these raggedy ass roads. Maryland isn’t exactly known for its excellent school system. And they (the taxes) have the audacity to be higher than those in the State of Virginia, a State just a little too far below the Mason Dixon for my tastes but at least you can see your taxes in action. At minimum, I would expect the police and the fire department to come to our rescue without the indignity of an invoice.

Because, other than killing black folk, I don’t see them doing much. But they had the time that day to send me a warning notice for wasting their time?! After calling about a potential break-in?

Someone who loves me, please make it make sense because I am having a real hard time understanding this one.

Your always,

The Trendy One