Getting All Philosophical . . . and Shit

So . . . I can’t complain, right? I have an amazing husband, a loving family, and a career with a 401k. I’m doing better than 95% of the globe which is why I find it difficult to abide by my own selfish desire to be miserable.

Maybe some of you won’t get what I’m saying, but sometimes I just feeling like curling up into the fetal position with a box of bacon covered doughnuts and binging trashy shows on netflix. And if I’m being honest with myself, that’s my happy place.

***IMPORTANT***

Let me just note here that I am not depressed. I am also not attempting to be self-deprecating. My goal here is to be honest. It is too often that humans display only the best versions of themselves, especially online, as a way to “peacock” for other humans. For me, this blog is as much about sharing my experiences (the good and the bad) with family and friends as it is about self-discovery.

So as a house husband, I tell you about how I really don’t know how to cook or clean or do anything that adults probably should know how to do well. I tell you about the trials and tribulations of being in a new city . . . and I talk about our aspirations as a family.

But the thing I find most interesting about being a house husband is that my sense of identity has changed somewhat, and it is inextricably tied to my position as “house husband” vis-a-vis my working spouse. To be clear, I wear my house husband-ness like a badge of honor. I love love love my husband and I like taking care of the home . . . but it is not easy. And we don’t even have kids so the only person making a mess is me and the only job I have is to clean up after myself. At this point, I have to tip my hat to all of the women around the world who work full time jobs as house wives - and the mothers and single women who have jobs on top of being mothers and full time care givers. The question I have for all of them is to what extent do they ever take care of themselves?

I think one of my issues is that, in my day job, I have been moving so fast for so long that I have never really taken the time to thoughtfully consider the world and my place in it - much less mundane things like life, liberty and the pursuit of body ody ody.

I hate to use the cliche of the rat race, but sometimes I feel like I’m in such a rush to make it to the next promotion or the next big thing professionally that I’m missing out on life’s most precious moments - not even really able to enjoy the ones I do get to experience. I’m so thankful for this short sabbatical because I am actively trying to recalibrate life. I am posing existential questions and I’m (tryin to) thoughtfully consider the answers.

One thing has become crystal clear - I know that I want to help make the world a better place, but I do not have to take the most difficult jobs or go to the most difficult places to do that. If promotions come a little slower, that’s okay, right? At the end of the day, I want to give more to my family and friends than I do to any professional pursuit. I want to surround myself - nay - cloak myself in the love of family and friends and live a life that is filled with joy and laughter.

Being a house husband . . . has given me a lot to think about.

I swear the next post will be about drag queens or something campy . . .

Peace and love, y’all!

LKB