I Just Turned 36 OR “How to Avoid a Mid-Life Crisis”
I normally do not like gifts, but I will exceptionally accept presents or small prayers as I come to terms with entering my (gasp) late thirties today.
On a serious note, as I sit here and consider the first part of my life and the chapters of my life sealed by the sands of time, I realize and am thankful that I am not in some mid-life crisis the likes of which most cis-gender men experience as they approach 40. Now, the 2020s have been on some bullshit, but like Beyonce, this new era is my renaissance!
I have talked about this a lot, but leaving my career at the Department of State was one of the best life decisions I have ever made. I am no longer counting down the days until I turn fifty so that I can retire with a modest pension and a flailing TSP account. Instead, I feel free to find the professional path that’s right for my family and me. This freedom, coupled with a great job in tech, has put me at ease in a way that is almost indescribable.
At the same time, I’m just tired of talking about work - my job is not who I am, and I never want my profession to be at the center of my identity ever again. Don’t get me wrong - I want to continue making positive changes in the world. But I don’t want to come home ever again and have nightmares about a job. At the end of the day, my mental health, wellness and wellbeing are simply too precious, and my identity should center around the things I care about most.
Getting past this pandemic, I want to enjoy traveling the world more with my husband and our future children at my side. I want to be inspired enough to write poetry again and to read something new everyday. I want to walk out of the house hand-in-hand with my beautiful partner and spend hours talking about everything and nothing. I want to focus on my health and be the healthiest version of me so that I can be there for those I care about the most. And, perhaps it goes without saying, but I still want to party like a rockstar from time to time.
In other words, trading the mid-life crisis for the preferred knowles-carterian renaissance for me means aligning my identity to center around the people, places and experiences I love most. I am Patty’s husband. I am Kari’s godfather. I am black and I am proud. I am from Atlanta but, interestingly, more European than anything else. I love the arts and wine and music. I seek balance. This is who I am.
As far as the future is concerned, I dare say that this next era will be better than the first, and I plan on enjoying every minute of it. I sincerely hope you do the same ;-)
Peace and love,
The Trendy One
