The Gays Go to Hogwarts — The Trendy Diplomat Blog and Podcast

Sep 30

Sep 30 The Gays Go to Hogwarts

What can I say?

This was a dream come true and Universal Studios did not disappoint although they took as much money as they possibly could (more on that later).

Patty and I woke up before the sun, stopped for gas and our obligatory McDonalds coffee (Patty was not pleased), and we drove 90 minutes to Orlando. We would have arrived sooner, but some organization hosted a 5k walk near the same off-ramp as Universal Studios (what city bureaucrat cleared that one?). What was worse? There was not a single sign suggesting that anything was happening. We drove off the ramp - as did about 200 other cars - and had to wait for about 500 people to finish their 5k. The drivers were mad at the walkers, the police were mad at the drivers, and the 5k participants were mad at the florida heat. It was a lovely way to start the day.

We finally made it to our 5-star hotel (The Best Western PLUS)! It cost us about a hundred dollars which was a steal because parking and breakfast were free . . . and the hotel was “only” a mile away. So without even checking in to the hotel, we walked to universal studios - and do you know mama sweat through the entirety of my shirt by the time I made it to the park.

Someone send Florida the memo that it is autumn!

Once inside the park, the first thing we did was buy a hat for Patty and a tank top for me. I was showing a little more skin than I’m used to (at least without getting paid for it), but it was just too damn hot.

Probably the single funniest moment was when Patty realized a little too late that we were about to get on a rollercoaster even though he said he didn’t want to (please note that I neither knew that “the mummy” was a rollercoaster nor did I force my husband to ride). My husband, the quiet scientist, screamed at the top of his lungs for an entire minute.

And the only thing louder than him was me . . . laughing at him. It was #glorious.

After riding a few more rides, we took the Hogwarts express over to the Islands of Adventure and visited Hogsmeade and Hogwarts castle. Patty - who had by this time become a rollercoaster rockstar - was ready for the next ride.

We boarded a 3-D rollercoaster experience inside Hogwarts castle. The friendly personnel fastened safety harnesses (kinky) over our shoulders and the ride began - and three seconds later, the ride suddenly stopped and someone over a loudspeaker informed us that it was due to technical issues. Poor Patty, who was just getting over a healthy fear of fast rides, found hiimself hanging sideways out of a rollercoaster for about 60 seconds.

Yay, fun!

Other than that little snafoo, we had a great time. We drank butterbeer at the three broomsticks, we bought tasty treats at Florian Fortescue’s . . . we sampled the dark arts down Knockturn Alley! It was glorious and lifesized. The 3D effects were amazing. The attention to detail is breathtaking. We will be going back - as soon as we save enough money to do so.

Here’s a little breakdown of how much money we spent: