"Love Bug" Love Making Ruins The Paint On Our Car and Sugar Comas

It's Saturday and my working man slept in a bit to rest from all of his work in the lab developing a cure for early onset male pattern baldness - because mama's wigs are giving snatched edges realness for the gods.

Whilst bae slept, I woke up and started to learn python. Then I got bored and started to write a business plan. Then I started an essay. Then I realized that it was Saturday and technically I'm on vacation so I asked the Netflix gods what show I should binge watch next and they mercifully gave me Parks and Recreation.

The Hubby then woke up and we went to the gym together and it was glorious! Oh how I yearn for the pain of tomorrow when my body realizes that I cannot actually lift any weight but my own.

To celebrate not being lazy - we went to the grocery store because Patty is a fat kid at heart and I am simply . . . pleasant ;-)

So we cooked breakfast - well, Patty cooked but I took a shower and put on clean clothes! It's the weekend so I am technically killing it!

We then got a call to come pick up our car. The dealership washed the car but it was somehow still dirty - so we took it to a car wash in the part of Tampa where all the restaurants serve Columbian food.

This was a two-hour hand-wash (lol). . . so we went to a little restaurant and ate again - and it was glorious! We returned for our car but had to wait in a small outside waiting area where these "love bugs" would not stop having sex with each other all around us.

Seriously, this is a thing. Google "love bug Florida"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lovebug

and you will see these ugly little black and red flying insects that, in their adulthood, fly around with their genitalia stuck together. Basically, these bugs are adults for a grand total of one week and all they do is have sex.

. . . not a shabby existence, lol.

On the way down the east coast, hundreds of these bugs died on the front grill of our car. 

Well - these bugs literally do not bite and they do not sting. They are lovers not fighters - except when they get on your car. You see, if you don't clean them off, their decomposing bodies turn acidic and ruin the paint.

This, my dear friends, is what happened to our BRAND NEW CAR!!

What is a desperate house husband to do? 

We took our car and came home but bae was not feeling well and wanted something sweet. So I went to the store and bought all of the sweets - and he ate them all. 

Now he's in a bit of a sugar coma.