Beyonce said to take your man to Red Lobster ...

So . . .

I have been quite selfish. It is hard to admit but it is true. Alas, the whole point of being a house husband is to support my husband and so far it’s been all about ME ME ME. Well today, I though I’d do a few things for my sweetie.

I know bae is homesick so I bought him some Haribo gummi bears - because he’s a little fat kid on the inside (Patty = Augustus Gluck).

Along the same lines, he LOVES my mother’s banana pudding ( . . . he’s the only one, lol - just kidding, love you mommy!), so I got him some from Publix because they are like family now.

I did the whole cleaning up / tidying up thing at the house. Then, I rested. I wanted babe to get a refreshed, effervescent version of me. So I went to the gym - then I got a massage and took a wee nap and it was #glorious.

Finally, I picked Patty up and took him to Red Lobster (mostly because Beyonce told me to). Now here’s the deal - going to the neighborhood Red Lobster meant going to the hood Red Lobster. We walked in - there were no lobsters in the tank and no wait staff to be seen. We waited for a smooth five minutes behind another couple who simply decided to seat themselves. Still wanting to experience the glory of red lobster but not necessarily this one, we went to a more affluent neighborhood (literally on the other side of the train tracks) and had the best date night ever.

Now y’all - Patty, until today, had never experienced Red Lobster biscuits. Do you remember your first time? Watching bae bite into his first biscuit was like watching little kids unwrap toys they actually asked for. It felt so good to see his face light up every time more food (and more biscuits) came out.

We paid our bill and walked back to the car with gigantic doggy bag in tow. As we sat in the car plotting our next move, babe just sat there and smiled at my lazily but with a hungry, unmistakable look. Could it be . . . was I about to get dessert so soon?

Red Lobster . . . who knew? #Beyoncedid