it’s February and the mosquitoes are alive with the sound of global warming

Biiiiiiiiiitch,

I spent cash money on winter clothes that will never see the light of day because, much like game of thrones, winter is actually never coming.
Bae just got a few echos for Christmas and so he loves Ms. Alexa who told him that it was going to be 60 degrees today in Washington DC.
60. Degrees.
To be clear, that Heiffa was lying because it was a balmy 71 degrees at 4pm and we were simply not prepared. I mean, where are my breathable cottons and ready-for-work linens? Since most people don’t really even see me at my job (that’s tea for another day) I wore a pair of poly-blend pants that are combustible in warm weather.
Well, mama was on fire today … I couldn’t wait to take them pants off.
But that’s not even the worst part. To my horror, I found a mosquito … A MOSQUITO in our bathroom.
I just want to remind the saints that it is February but y’all not trying to hear me when I tell you that global warming is real.
I killed that mosquito cuz ain’t nobody got time for Zika AND the coronavirus. Although I won this battle, vector viruses will most likely win the war.
In the meantime, y’all stay frosty.

(Editors note: This post was brought to you by Hertep Egyptian cotton and air conditioning)