Ode to my Squatty Potty OR "SHOW ME THE POOPOO"

Some of y’all swear by this thing but I simply do not get the hype . . . I want to be a believer but I have to follow my gut (lol)!

So like most of you, I’ve born witness to the hilarious squatty potty commercial featuring a unicorn pooping rainbow colored ice cream.

I mean - their marketing team was targeting me specifically. I am all things rainbows - all things unicorns - and all things ice cream. Plus - I poop like 8 times a day (I know this is TMI, but some of you are out there silently thanking me for confirming that you’re not alone in this world).

This commercial, and the prospect of a good poop EVERY TIME, were just too good for me not to purchase the squatty potty.

So for the low low price of 40 dollars, I brought a bamboo squatty potty home. I have to admit that I was not happy that I had to assemble it. It seemed easy enough, but I am awful with these types of things. So after 45 minutes and two cups of extra strong, black coffee, I was ready to try out my squatty potty.

. . . so I sat there with my knees next to my ears for about a minute but to my utter dismay, nothing really happened. I dialed in a friend who told me I had to lean forward for it to work properly. Now at this point, I’m basically kissing my feet (Because mama is flexible AF) but apparently, my squatty potty came without the magic.

I figured, maybe I had stage fright. This was just the dress rehearsal, right? I mean, I do all of my good pooping in the morning. That would be the real test.

Ever hopefully that my butt would birth ice cream with sprinkles, I patiently waited until the next morning to debut the squatty potty.

. . . talk about a let down. I mean . . . it gets the job done, I guess. But I didn’t feel any different. It was just . . . poop.

Wait, I’m not giving it enough credit . . . I can poop with a good quad stretch, but is it worth 40 dollars?

The jury is still out. If it’s any consolation, Bae likes it . . .

Happy pooping!

L.